Thought 1.
When you get a dipped cone, it's going to be messy. I recently went to Arctic Circle and got what they call "a Topper." Don't be deceived. It's a dipped cone. And I guess every time I go to Arctic Circle, they're having a severe napkin shortage, and so they give me a napkin that's ripped in half. Dipped cones are delicious, but I don't think it's appropriate to dip soft serve ice cream in chocolate that hardens like a caramel apple, because that confounded soft serve turns to water when it starts melting, and the you have a waterfall of soft serve (that you know when it dries will be used as the sticky stuff on a band-aid because that's the stickiest thing they've found that will also leave a black layer of stick on you) that's covered by an impenetrable layer of chocolate, and so to consume it, you gnaw on the chocolate with your molars because your teeth are sensitive and drip stick water all over you and the half napkin and the car your friend let you borrow, all with the tune of "Can I Get a Napkin, Please?!?!" stuck in your head.
Thought 2.
I've learned a lot of things since I've been married, so thought 2 will be broken into mini thoughts.
a. Just because you put garlic salt in it, doesn't mean it's going to taste good.
b. Everyone should be married. I highly recommend it. It really is as cool as everyone says it is.
c. You HAVE to clean the bathroom.
d. Contrary to my previous speculations, just because I'm a wife now DOES NOT mean that I'm good at hanging up my clothes. I have a messy room. I don't know how Mom and Dad never do.
e. Again, contrary to previous belief, now that I'm a wife DOES mean that I want to decorate our house like crazy all the time.
f. As long as you're nice, everything is usually ok.
Thought 3.
I lost the key to our apartment before we even were married, and so we've been sharing one key, which takes careful coordination to make sure that whoever will get home first has the keys, especially now that we're both in school and working, because if one gets home and has no keys and the other is in class and the manager's office hours are from approximately 4-4:05 and you have to be at work at 3, you have a bit of a problem.
This happened just the other day. We didn't coordinate, I biked home at super-sonic speed so I wouldn't wet my pants, only to discover that Sam had the keys and would be in chemistry for another hour. The managers were gone, as were the THREE ASSISTANT resident managers, who conveniently live of opposite sides of the complex, all of them on the 3 floor. I tried the credit card trick with no luck. It may have been because I didn't use a card that matters to me, I used my Ingles card and the door detected that I wasn't really invested in getting in if I wouldn't sacrifice my debit card.
I tried the bobby pin, because in the second or third Harry Potter book, Fred and George Weasley break in to Harry's bedroom with no magic using a bobby pin, and they said "it's good to know these little Muggle tricks." No luck. I'm not even a presentable Muggle.
I tried to break into the window. Someone had the rotten idea of planting a stinking poisonous thorn bush right in front of the window, and then pruning it so that lovely little thorn covered twigs hide under the mulch and stab your unsuspecting feet, THROUGH YOUR SHOES. When you step back in alarm, you get 35 bun shots from the mother bush itself. Obviously, I had no luck. So I crouched outside the door doing the potty dance til Sam came home 40 minutes later. And no, I did not wet my pants.
